Passive Smoking Is Theft

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As a smoker, I can really relate to this. All those bothersome people just standing around inhaling other people’s hard earned smoke. Who on earth do they think they are? Surely they can’t do that. There has got to be some ingenious New Labour law against such obvious cases of theft?

Luckily the ever so helpful Monsieur Blair and buddies have decided they know best as usual, and have correctly sided with us the smokers.

The cunning plan, drawn up in total darkeness, to allow clearer thinking is typical of the current government. You see, apparently the trick is to actually get the smokers to go outside and have a fag. This way it’s much harder for all those in denial smokers out there, to get their nicotine fix (tax free). Jogging along trying to suck in a waft of smoke being blown along by the wind is likely to be virtually impossible, even for the most experienced of ‘passive smokers’. Hopefully Blair’s master plan will be an astounding success, like all the rest of his ideas, just like that Iraq thing.

Also, if all those passive smokers don’t actually love smoking they wouldn’t cough like us. I notice this especially when I frequent small nightclub establishments. Small and dingy and hideously hot, the thieves slyly place themselves next to me and proceed to inhale my smoke and then let out a chesty cough. They then have the cheek to stare at me, as if gloating in their overt criminality.

They just love it, its that simple, and they show absolutely no remorse, not a morsel. The sweet concoction of poisonous chemicals that lingers in the air drives them wild, making them crazy for more. Thank god Tony has come down hard on the vagabonds.

Blair is my hero.

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17 Responses

  1. The simplest solution is always the best. To prevent theft, it is best not to provide thieves the opportunity. So next time you’re having a smoke, keep it all to yourself! Inhale deeply, deeply. Hold it in. All to yourself.😉

  2. hiiiiii

    funny picture.. well… I wont take it serious.. coz things are the other way around🙂

  3. No one ever really complains about all the car residual their inhaling, do they? Or how about the nasty large production factories or power plants, of which fill our cities with wonderful pollutants? No. But you and many other smokers, pay (well in America) 5.00 a pack of your hard earned money to enjoy what YOU acquire for YOUR body and everyone wants to make a big deal about it? Double standards are like blond hair, blue eyes – a dime a dozen. Love the pic! And I’m not a smoker.

  4. very funny! on a reals tho – i can’t believe they are maing us go outside! the cheek!

  5. Funny aint it how in half a century us smokers went from being suave & oh so very cool to social lepers left outside in the freezing cold!

  6. haha sweet! Nobody smokes these days

  7. If those tiresome passive smokers still have the audacity to inhale your much deserved fumes, make sure to have chewed a raw fish for at least 5 minutes beforehand. This is government approved, as Mr Gordon Brown himself said in a statement: “Hahaha! That’ll learn ’em!”

  8. The fightback against the Smoking ban has started with UK National Smoking Day ( 31st December 2007). For further information , and to register ( it’s FREE ) visit http://www.nationalsmokingday.com

    Light up INSIDE a pub and club on 31st December 2007

  9. I’m a smoker but every single person I know think the smoking ban is balls, including people that don’t smoke and are usually completely against it. Who’d rather sit in a pub/club that smells of sweat and farts!? This is just infringing on our free will! The law should be dropped and owners of each public place should be able to decide for themselves whether they want to ban smoking in they’re establishment or not. Boo yah government people!😀

  10. yehhhh! you tell em Lala.

  11. Well, those things from production plants are due to carelessness of the factories and YES people DO complain. Stealing my butt, smokers POLLUTED my air, I want good old clean air not some burnt up dust that went into someone’s stinky mouth.

  12. I’m against smoking. But, that was Funny! I will never “steal” smoke. I’ll hold my breath or move.

  13. lol wtf is wrong with you people? Are you people ACTUALLY retarded or this all one big troll? Because i’ve ragggeed already. Do you fags actually believe this? ‘ Stealing my smoke ‘ oh wow, i mean I LOVE STEALING CANCER!!! WOOOO, stop being so fucking retarded and please keep your cancer sticks in your own home and kill your own children because i don’t want any of it. Everytime i’ve gotta smell that rancid tar based shitstick I should get to shoot the smoker in the foot. Why the hell should i walk out my door to have that smoke forced down my throat, with my asthma that seriously messes my lungs up. I used to physically not be able to go into pubs and be near any kind of smoking because i could not breathe well enough. You are absolute retards, Manslaughter is agasint the law but everytime you give me second hand smoke your helping to commit the crime. 2

  14. Reply: October 26.
    HAHA your the freaking retard.. Normally you can’t read irony, but here it was clear as crystal. And that shows how fucking dumb you are!
    And on top of that, the author actually got a rather decent angle to this, you can’t kick us out, and then except for us to step aside cuz you want fresh air, it doesnt work that way. And if goverments ever try to pull that shit, we will revolt, and eventually all hell breaks loose!

  15. Studies have repeatedly shown that smoking causes many complications leading to cancer, heart problems and intoxication. Quit Smoking

  16. “Studies have repeatedly shown that smoking causes many complications leading to cancer, heart problems and intoxication. Quit Smoking”

    Yeah, you freaking bore! Did you try to read the article you are commenting on? Didn’t think so.

    Smoking is not only good for your mental health, it is also good to use as a filter, to filter out people who strictly believe that everything someone claims is unhealthy actually is a boost for the mental health of certain people. In this specific case those persons tend to be witty which obviously isn’t the case with Carroll B. Merriman.

    Screw you!

  17. “Studies have repeatedly shown that smoking causes many complications leading to cancer, heart problems and intoxication. Quit Smoking”

    Studies have repeatedly shown that living causes many complications leading to cancer, heart problems and death. Quit Living.

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