As a smoker, I can really relate to this. All those bothersome people just standing around inhaling other people’s hard earned smoke. Who on earth do they think they are? Surely they can’t do that. There has got to be some ingenious New Labour law against such obvious cases of theft?
Luckily the ever so helpful Monsieur Blair and buddies have decided they know best as usual, and have correctly sided with us the smokers.
The cunning plan, drawn up in total darkeness, to allow clearer thinking is typical of the current government. You see, apparently the trick is to actually get the smokers to go outside and have a fag. This way it’s much harder for all those in denial smokers out there, to get their nicotine fix (tax free). Jogging along trying to suck in a waft of smoke being blown along by the wind is likely to be virtually impossible, even for the most experienced of ‘passive smokers’. Hopefully Blair’s master plan will be an astounding success, like all the rest of his ideas, just like that Iraq thing.
Also, if all those passive smokers don’t actually love smoking they wouldn’t cough like us. I notice this especially when I frequent small nightclub establishments. Small and dingy and hideously hot, the thieves slyly place themselves next to me and proceed to inhale my smoke and then let out a chesty cough. They then have the cheek to stare at me, as if gloating in their overt criminality.
They just love it, its that simple, and they show absolutely no remorse, not a morsel. The sweet concoction of poisonous chemicals that lingers in the air drives them wild, making them crazy for more. Thank god Tony has come down hard on the vagabonds.
Blair is my hero.