Hello Blog.

I have returned. I don’t know whether this is a good or a bad thing. I’ve not posted for like 6 months. I don’t really know why, probably just forgot, my brain being the mushy vat of mulch that it is I wouldn’t be surprised.

I don’t know if anyone is still out there reading but I’m aiming to get my creative juices flowing again in time for Christmas. Now that I am free from the ‘educational’ burden of university I will have a little more time on my hands to do something I actually enjoy. God forbid!

Oh yeah, and if I hear another Christmas song I will literally have a baby. It will be the child of the devil himself. Deep down I’m sure the U.S government uses cheesy Christmas songs to extract information from Al-Qaeda at Guantanamo or whatever secret prison they operate. I mean, I’d definitely give in. But then again. I’d probably suck at being a terrorist.

I think I have decided that art is the only way were ever going to get out of this mess that we’ve created for ourselves. Politics is too slow, the normal channels by which change occurs are self sustaining only, too bogged down in bureaucracy to contribute any meaningful action.

I could of course delve into a highly educated ramble about the power of art in modern day society but to be frank I’m busy, and such a task sounds time consuming and really rather odious.

I shall soon descend downstairs to make my dinner (I’m treating myself to sausages for the third meal in a row) choosers can’t be students, beggars can’t be students and choosers can’t be beggars, you get the picture.

Hello people! It’s been a while I know. I have however turned into a lazy little slut so there is my excuse straight up. At the moment I’m on holiday, and have been so for the last three weeks, its been fun, sort of, OK, maybe not. You’d have thunk with all this spare time on my hands Id’ve been pushing new street side graffiti into your beady internet eyes but lo and behold I have resisted.

In all honesty I had literally forgotten about my little corner of cyberspace. Sad, desolate and comment free my blog has been left to wither and die like a dog in a car on a hot summers day. Poor thing, I almost feel guilty to the extent where I feel like I should breathe some life back into this old puppy (no pun intended).

How exactly I’m going to retain my readers is still somewhat of a mystery to me, I gained cyber notoriety through link-whores Senor’s Digg and Stumbleupon. I’ve decided to come back and do the business as I kind of miss it. One thing I shall have to avoid is stat-porn. Why do I get so obsessed with stat-porn. Its not like I’ve got ad’s on my blog neccesary to put food on the table curtousy of Google adsense, no, I’m just an idiot, plain and simple.

I’m also back as I went and looked through some of the comments from days gone by and some people were very nice about my rather inane and pointless blog, so they get more of what they like. The rest of you, get used to it, the internet will never be the same again.

Some people have the most intelligent things to say don’t they.

Cock Master? I was intrigued. It seems like such a dumb yet profound insult. What on earth does it mean? Follow me on a journey to find the truth!

Urbandictionary.com, a favourite with school children across the globe helps shed some light on the matter with the following definitions:

(I have to apologize for the extremely poor English employed in the statements below)

Description #1

Descriptive noun for displaying extreme displeasure at an individual or individuals (Cock Masters).

eg. All of them cock masters, everyone of them just kissing the bosses arse especially Graham, the cock master.

Description #2

Man or Woman, but more suited towards the female sex. A middle aged woman who has had ALOT of cock and has children to show as a result, thus showing a true mastering of the cock. Typically has had so much cock that the vagina and anus have merged as one orifice as a result of wear.

eg. ‘This woman in the pub is 47, she has had 4 husbands and 6 children by all different men, she is a true cock master’

Description #3

One who is of great experience with the cock. In fact, there is none greater than he/she is with the cock.

eg. Dude, I’m telling you…it was amazing. I’ve never seen a chick who knew her way around a dick that much before. She’s a cock master.

Description #4

1. To be a homosexual male: master of the cock/Someone/thing which you don’t like very much

eg. damnit leroy… why do you have to be such a cock master?

Description #5

A man who can sling his penis with great skill.

eg. “Why is Jon so good with the ladies?”
“Cause he’s the Cock Master!”

Now you see people. This is the power of the internet. There is nothing we cannot know.

The most popular definition of ‘cock master’ as decided by the users of urbandictionary.com was #2.

*As a result of this post if you type cock master into Google I’m 7th on the list! heh

How true. Things are good, they’re useful and very often a necessity but in a world now so consumed by materialism it wouldn’t be crazy to think the statement above to be false, sad as that may be.

How have I come to this conclusion? Well, I simply assessed our modern day ‘cosmopolitan, democratic and civilized’ culture. A societies culture is meant to revolve around the core beliefs of a populace. I know that is a vague definition but the dictionary gave me too many options so I’ve been forced to simplify.

What is our culture?

I live in England. Great Britain. Conqueror of distant lands and itself a land of pastures green, the queen, tea, and lots of other stereotypical things that are supposed to make up our collective identity which simply fail to represent real cultural affiliations.

So I was thinking, what do we do, I mean culturally? Theoretically with the rise in living standards we should all be intelligentsia. Literate, curious ungullable* and generally ‘cultured’ but no, silly me, I’m obviously being far too optimistic.

Well here’s what I think ‘we’ do, we go to the pub, the football (if you can afford it these days), sit on the sofa, eat fast food, watch TV, heckle people different to ourselves, go shopping, and to be honest I’m running out of things to say.

“Oh and politics, whats that all about, bunch of tosser talking heads if you ask me?”

Our culture seems to be diversionary, leading us away from people and toward things, making us ‘individuals’. Overall we seem to be embracing it. But what if you don’t like the things I just listed, what do you do then?

Welcome to the periphery of society! What do we do? Strange off the cuff things. Like the things people do on TV while the others just watch, because its easier that way. It’s safe and its comfortable. We wouldn’t want to exert ourselves would we?

“Pass me the remote”

*if ungullable isn’t a real word I’ll patent it and propagate it until it becomes a real word in the dictionary. A real word. You heard it here. At which point I will decide to charge extortionate sums of money for its use and become filthy rich off the back of it.

The views of yet another happy customer at McDonald’s it would seem. I admit that up until a few years ago I would happily eat one of those things. Look at the image above. It looks so tempting. That doughy bread, chopped lettuce, tomatoes, ham and cheese. A feast one could be proud of it would seem.

The problem becomes apparent on purchase. I was led to believe I would receive a meal fit for a king, however upon opening of the colourful cardboard box my delight turns to disgust as I stare at the damp, soggy, eyesore of a meal. We’ve all been there. We’ve all thought it looks gross, but we nearly always go ahead and eat it.

Secretly we hope it’s because the E numbers permeated the smell of the ‘thing’ forcing a neurological impulse to take a bite suddenly the monosodium glutamate really kicks in at which point we raise our white flag and give in to defeat. Hastily devouring every last morsel of the obvious culinary disaster.

Humans are funny. heh.

From Shinotama www.shinotamatakemuro.deviantart.com

Mi at miii.net

Melissa Crouch from whatdoyousee.wetpaint.com

Jared at Peopleneedtohear.blogspot.com

Phoenix from phoenixinthecity.blogspot.com

Aaron Bateman An Englishman in Copenhagen
‘I have your scarf, you have my heart.’

Keep ‘em coming people. Good stuff. I personally want to see some more foreign stuff. I’m just praying I’m not being lied to about the translations!

The Internet. The finest invention of all time as well as the least appreciated. Economies rely on it, harnessing it; acting fast and driving profit. Information is power and the internet certainly provides. Unlike industry citizens have been slow to embrace, oblivious to the opportunities presented.

We are learning though, and fast. We can buy, sell, live, learn and lose. It’s a virtual reality.

But what if we were to meld cyberspace with reality to create a hyper connected reality. You’re thinking we’ve already got this. We’ve got social networking, Google, video on demand, we can interact and make a difference. But can we? The technology is there but are we making full use of it? Are the ideas on a par with the technology?

The internet has the power to make our ‘democracies’ truly democratic. We have seen this idea grow online through user generated sites such as Wikipedia and Digg. People from across the globe uniting enthusiastically under an idea. An idea that was once just a twinkle in someones eye.

These sites have grown organically and rapidly solidifying the premise that in people in numbers, united in a cause, can change the world. A spread of ideas is essential to maintaining a healthy democracy. Governments the world over have been called to account, and more often than not the response is to restrict the online activities of their citizens. Why do they do this? Because they understand the nature of power. And the internet has that power.

What is needed? A new movement is needed. One comprised of like minded individuals reaching for freedom of information and speech as well as the chance to make their own minds up instead of being spoon fed by the media monopolies.

Nearly all attempts to date of ‘democratically’ user driven websites have a simple fundamental flaw. They can be manipulated with ease but lack enough transparency for us to prove it. We need a new social network, driven voluntarily by open source developers, devoid of corporate control which will truly reflect the needs of the people. To do this will require capital, but once the idea is developed the rest will flow.

Establishment media argue they know what we need, or do they simply know what they need? We need to be open to new ideas and influence innovation ourselves. Standing by the wayside is a proven route to failure.

This is what I want to create; a discussion of how we can create a truly amazing online experience which has an impact on the way we live, through our own initiative, and not through the intention of making a quick buck.

I have a plan and I will divulge in due time, but I want to hear yours. What are you going to do, or what should we do? Ideas please. Your future is at stake as alternatively we could end up with this…

These are some serious times. Look around you. What are you doing? Sitting at your computer, perusing the internet, looking for something to peak your attention right? Distraction…leisure/chilling out, whatever you wanna call it. Looking for a soul through a screen? Maybe.

You want change. You can feel it inside, but like anything, you need to tend to it for it to grow. We have become lazy. Drones. Indifferent to our surroundings, unappreciative of what we’ve got, as well as being unaware of what’s possible. We’ve been sleeping. And we shall awake from the illusion to create the inevitable change.

What is that change? It’s different for every one of us but it can only come from looking inside.

*End of Evangelism*

You may now continue with the internet.

Nothing important happen to you recently?

When does anything important ever really happen? I mean we have politics, which we should take seriously, and don’t. Instead we find other less dull pursuits, or more exciting pursuits, depends on which way you look at it. If anything important does happen, we usually forget pretty sharpish. But what constitutes important? What constitutes that moment you really see the and concede to change? If you’ve got questions, and pursue them, they’ll be answered. The universe works in strange ways, but you have to believe…

Probably not the best bit of advice I’ve ever dished out. Actually… if you work for some evil blood sucking corporation and you’re clever enough not to get caught then…. I shall say no more.

You can do it!!

But really.. We do, by on large, make piss all. So I’m not surprised that people have resorted to such nefarious acts. Whether its for that little rock of crack to keep you going, or that electricity bill you need to pay for your 2 month old daughter to be warm at night, sometimes it’s gotta be done. The first example is/was a joke, in case you didn’t guess.

I’m about to go completely off course now because I have realized what is annoying me: “There is no way of conveying sarcasm in written language without it losing its meaning.”

I think we need a new italic-esqe quick font change thingy for easy to convey sarcasm! Lets start a global campaign!

Or not?

For a warrior there is no such thing as an impossible love.

He is not intimidated by silence, indifference or rejection. He knows that, behind the mask of ice that people wear, there beats a heart of fire.

This is why the warrior takes more risks than other people. He is constantly seeking the love of someone, even if that means often having to hear the word ‘no’, returning home defeated and feeling rejected in body and soul.

A warrior never gives in to fear when he is searching for what he needs. Without love, he is nothing.

This is a page from Paulo Coelho’s book called ‘The Manual Of The Warrior Of Light’ which is now pretty much my bible. And if you haven’t read ‘The Alchemist’ you have to do it. Quickly

I’ve always enjoyed reading those Utopian visions of the future written in the 1950’s . The problem now is that I am very disappointed with the ‘future’. Where is my flying car? Where are the fields that grow crops in skyscrapers? Dionysus was right… We have been swindled.

Swindled, not trough our own lack of creativity, instead through the lack of the of means of making creativity a reality. Because you see, there are people out there who don’t care about you. They are happy you are impoverished and unable to express your creativity. Because what is your amazing idea, is another persons nightmare.

Big business’ is the one with the nightmare. Ideas of inherent meaning and truth are the one thing they cannot mass produce, only we can do that.

So if you have a dream, don’t sit on it- act on it. Its the only way dreams have ever come true.

There’s a world out there that you don’t know. Shrouded in mist, the truth lies hidden. The pointers are there, all that’s needed is for you to follow your conscience, your instinct and your heart which manifests as that little voice in your head.

What’s new in the world? Here are a few things that peaked my attention:

• Due to a budget crisis the government of the state of Michigan has been shut down. Many state provided services (like police departments) have been closed to the public as well as school funding.
• President Bush lays out his plan, or lack thereof, for how to deal with private military contractors.
• Reverse Graffiti – Great art, An important message and the police can’t do anything to stop you! Get out there and do it!
• Check out these toilets in the Netherlands…
• The world has officially gone mad. Light your cigarette with an AK-47…
• Fascist America, in 10 easy steps.
• Antique sculpture as it was back in the day.
• “I hate all Iranian’s” admits Assistant Secretary for Coalition Affairs of US Defence.
• Morgan Stanley used September 11th to falsely claim records were destroyed.
• The effects of boredom comically displayed by university students.
• A really funny internet chat room parody.

I would also like to say a big thank you to all of the people who have sent in pictures. I have been overwhelmed with the response. Your pictures will be published in time and you will be accredited with them.

I think I have also lost the power of speech… freedom of speech? Not yet. But at this rate I wouldn’t be surprised by anything.

If you are in the UK/US or any other country for that matter you have got to understand that your freedoms are systematically being curtailed by successive corrupt governments. Most recently under the guise of Terrorism.

We are ‘united’ under the umbrella of fighting terrorism, but what are we actually getting for it? ‘Security’ they say. Oh because we must give up liberty for security, there is no idiotic paradox there? If you allow yourself to be controlled by fear, you might as well give up. Because as far as I’m concerned you’ve lost the plot.

Having read far and wide on the changes within politics since 9/11 I will happily state that our governments are outright bandits. It’s like feudalism all over again. But just new money, not old. Industrialists rule. And war means money.

Control of information. Another thing you should be very worried about. What you read next, and the thing after that, this…its all propaganda, and it gets in your head. You are the sum of your experience, and we are all prejudiced some way or another.

Telling the truth is a revolutionary act, and in our time of apathy and distraction we need to find the revolutionary in every one of us.

This is a silent war, but this is World War III.

Seems to sum up life since 9/11 no? Oh well..

Sorry I havent been updating a lot recently but my life has very suddenly become a lot more hectic! Not in a bad way though so I’m not complaining.

I’ve had the chance recently to work on some interesting projects, and in the process I have come to see a different side to the advertising business. Nothing unexpected I should point out, but it all comes with the territory (you know… exploiting the vulnerable…that kinda stuff).

Gotta catch some kip now but here are some stories I found interesting whilst surfing the internets over the last few days…

• Who own’s the media? (US)
• The best free translation service
• The state of the world’s oceans
• Police in America start selling ad space on their patrol cars
• Ten things to know about procrastination
• One in 5 Americans believe the sun revolves around the Earth
• Dog on steroids; alternatively it spends far too much time down the gym
• Ingenious photoshopped pictures from a Russian artist
• The child prostitution ring that reached the Bush Whitehouse
• Teenager from rural Malawi builds a windmill to provide power for his family out of scrap
• Panorama of London skyline & a projection of what it will look like in 2012
• A British physics teacher begs for his subject back
• Innovative and interesting advertising campaigns
• Is your mind controlled by parasites? (Not of the Fox News variety)
• Steorn’s Orbo ‘free energy’ machine on demonstration now in London
• 750,000 people die prematurely in China each year from air pollution
• Why does the shower curtain move towards the water
• Taiwan is replacing Traffic lights with LED’s and is set to save 85% on power consumption

Todays Pick and Mix…

• Has a remote Amazonian tribe upended our understanding of language?

• Songs Of Praise with subtitles!

• Short disturbing video about your privacy and Facebook

• The fight for the world’s food. Population is growing. Supply is falling. Prices are rising. What will be the cost to the planet’s poorest?

• Website dedicated to random things people have written on money

• And you thought your job was bad?

• Cool underwater sculptures

• Lion Mutilates 42 Midgets in Cambodian Ring-Fight

• Arsebook

• CIA recruiting via Facebook

• Drawings made out of words

• Winning entrants of poster competition to raise awareness of global warming.

Now go and take advantage of the moment.

I thought I’d add a few links to a few stories I have read over the last week. I’ve a feeling I’m going to do this more often and I’d be intrigued to see what my readers have found interesting too so tell me whats on your mind.

• Sex with a woman who is drunk may soon be rape
• U.S.-funded aerial spraying of coca plantations in Colombia near the Ecuador border has severely damaged the DNA of local residents, a new study has found.
• New age town embraces dollar alternative
• Seymour Hersh reveals shocking new details of Abu Ghraib; ‘Father and son forced to do acts together’
• Opponents of EU Treaty accused of being ‘terrorists’
• EU has opened door to GM in organics, say activists
• 9/11 ‘Truthers’ uncovering disturbing anomalies
• Secret plan for new E.U Superstate
• Real Conversations You Have to Read to Believe!
• How-to-do-it : Lucid Dreaming
• Scans of Monks’ Brains Show Meditation Alters Structure and Functioning
• How children lost the right to roam in four generations.

Unfortunately speed is not part of a healthy balanced diet. So for the meantime I suggest buying real food. Fruit and veg, that sort of stuff. Just make sure you bypass the skag ‘n’ crack aisle next time your wondering through the supermarket. I know its tempting, I know its moorish, but really, just do it!

Err, I mean don’t. Slip of the tongue…honest, anyway its better to keep you coins!

What is time? Time is what religion made up. For further details have a read on the subject of the Mayan calendar. How far down the rabbit hole you wanna go?